Urban Legends-The Clown Statue

We've all heard the stories, those ones that happened to a friend of a friends cousin who knows this guy who heard that this happened, but what about when the story is true

 A girl in her teens was babysitting for a family in Newport Beach, Ca. The family were wealthy and had a very large house, the sort with many more rooms than people. The parents were going out for a late dinner/movie, and told her that once the children had gone to bed she could watch whatever she wanted, perk of the job. Shortly after the parents had left the babysitter put the kids to bed, and made her way to the front room to watch Tv there. As she sits down something in the corner of the room caught her eye, a clown statue. Trying to ignore it she carried on watching, only moving when the phone rang. She answered it in a flash, finding the kids Father on the line,  calling to make sure the kids were behaving. She reassured him with a smile, glad everything was fine, but before he hung up however she had one simple request.

"The kids are in bed, they've been fine. Mind if I move rooms though?"

"Of course, why?"

"That clown statues really freaking me out."

"Get out of the house, I'm calling the police."

"What? Why?"

"We don't have a clown statue..."

 Creepy right? The story goes on that the children had been complaining a clown had been watching them sleep, but the parents put it down to their imagination, yet when the babysitter saw it they knew something was wrong. The clown had been living in the house for months, hiding in the spare room and coming out when no one was there, but he couldn't resist watching the babysitter.

 So next time you're looking at a statue watch out, it might just be looking back.

Horror Podcasts and Audiobooks. For free!

So it's been a while since my last posts, not that I'm sure many of you noticed. I just didn't feel the need to post things here anymore, when I could just read them and go about my business. I had a few problems with Blogger so I have several posts that are written to be posted, but I'm not sure whether to carry on. But fuck it.Here's a post.


Recently I've started listening to podcasts on the train to work, more specifically horror podcasts. These range from bloody to bizarre, morbid to mediocre, yet all of these have given me chills at one point or other.

Note: If you're listening to these on public transport, maybe try not to jump like I did. It seems to get you one hell of a lot of looks.


Crescent Station-  Phillip Rossi-https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/crescent-a-free-audiobook/id260405301?ign-mpt=uo%3D6

So this first one is not something what I was expecting to like. At the moment everything seems to be about zombies, and I'm okay with that, yet this little gem was something from years ago I managed to miss. A lot of these stories I've been listening to on a night as I drift off, but not this. This is far too engaging to sleep over. It reminds me of Dead Space, if Dead Space cared more about itself instead of making money. 
  One of my favourite things about this audiobook is how Rossi really does seem to care about his work. With a lot of books I find that the author is merely going through the process of writing, writing for the sake of it, mentioning no names Stephen King. As well as writing this piece Rossi also narrates the audio for it as well, and this is one of my favourite parts. Being the writer and the narrator gives you a fantastic insight into your own work, so you know where to build tension, where to pause for effect and how each part is played. This is a pet peeve of mine with some authors/narrators, how something can be lost in translation to lose any sense of drama or tension it once had.
 Crescent Station is my pick of the list, and is enjoyable to have as a backing track to your life. I'd definitely recommend at least trying it, you won't regret it.




 Unkillable-Patrick E Mclean-https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/unkillable/id407417916

Next up is one a little different from the rest of the selections, in the sens I'm not sure whether to class it as horror or not. It is in a vague sense of the word, deffinitely supernatural, but whether it is scary or not like everything is subjective. The story is between sweet and creepy, a darker version of the film/book The Lovely Bones but kind of zombified, which is by no means a bad thing. Give it a go, you'll thank me.


Unkillable is the story of a young man who is cruelly murdered then brought back from the dead to revenge himself. The kicker is: He’s not really alive. He can be hurt, he just can’t be killed.

It’s dark and funny and sad and beautiful and violent and magical -- if it could be summed up with just a few words, there would have been no point in writing a novel.

Unkillable. Life sucks. Death blows. In between is worse. 



Fried Green Zombies -John Allen- http://podiobooks.com/title/fried-green-zombies/


 Zombie books, films and podcasts seem to be becoming more and more common by the day, that being said it's also something I've tried my hand at, albeit unsuccessfully. Sometimes everything seems a little samey, like the lines between books are blurring so they could all be set in the same mundane zombie strewn landscape. Every now and then however you do come across something so different it renews your entire outlook on Zombie films.
 Odd from the start Fried Green Zombies seems a play on the classic (in some circles) title Fried Green Tomatoes, yet couldn't be much different. Here's the blurb, see for yourself.

Chett and Harry are two recently unemployed construction workers on their way to a weekend of beer, Southern Comfort, and frog gigging at their musty-rusted 1970's RV parked at their favourite hunting camp when they stumble on Bob, the mysterious, busty, burqa-clad, non-English speaking beauty just standing in the middle of nowhere on the side of dusty Nine Mile Cutoff in rural Bovina, Mississippi.

Then all hell breaks loose. Their favourite pond is missing. They're being chased by truck driving zombies, dirty cops, UFOs and other ne'er-do-wells. Someone stole Chett's jacked up Scottsdale four-by-four. Zombies are traipsing around their trailer, and crazy Uncle Crank is trying to feed them zombie chicken for dinner.

Why is their pond missing, and why did the Dodge of Death spring from the muddy crater left in its centre? Who is Bob and why is she so good with shotguns? Why are they being chased by two really skinny, pale, bald, goatee-clad wierdos? What is the dirty county sheriff hiding? And will Chett and Harry ever make it out alive?


See what I mean? Not that this takes anything away from the genre, as at times it's still gripping stuff, but truck driving zombies don't really seem to scare me as much as a faceless horde mithering its way towards you. I guess it's like that film about that car that chases people, the one whose name I never bothered to remember, for good reason. Despite the lack of jumps and jolts it's a lighthearted twist on the classic zombie survival with more than a pinch of Bill and Ted to stir things up a little. Easy to get in to,hard to put down.


 Honorable mention

Dead Mech: http://podiobooks.com/title/dead-mech/

'After the zombie apocalypse decimates the world, human civilization tries to put itself back together again. Their secret weapon: the Mechs. But what happens when a mech pilot dies in his mech and becomes a zombie? Hell on earth is unleashed...'

I wasn't sure what to think of this at first, and from reading the blurb it's easy to see why. With trepidation I started the first chapter only to find it was actually compelling. It's so refreshing to find someone who actually cares about what they're writing, and it clearly shows this is more an idea of love than money. The premise, although unusual, really works to bring a new twist to the Zombie survival, and without spoiling anything I can honestly say I enjoyed it, and that it made the cold, long bus journey on a morning that little bit different.

 

The following website is one I found that contains a number of links for a large amount of podcasts. Some are good, others less so, but I'll leave it for you to figure out for yourself.

http://theaudiodramadirectory.com/horror/